The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Even the bartender felt bad for me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I need to sanitize my soul.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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