I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
