How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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