just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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