Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
