so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
