she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
