just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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