He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
