If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
