erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize