Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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