Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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