there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
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Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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