So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
