dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
