What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think my moral compass just broke
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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