THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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