were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
