You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
