Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
