I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
