Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
