I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
