just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
