I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
from now on my penis is your penis
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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