If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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