Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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