I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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