He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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