So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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