So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
