his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
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Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
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This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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