plz talk dirty to me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
