All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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