he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
