using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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