dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
