Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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