The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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