Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
