She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize