i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
