how hairy? two words: wookie tits
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
