I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
