That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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