In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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