We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
