Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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