We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
