I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She even gives head with a lisp.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
