Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
