i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
