As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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