As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
