Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize